so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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