i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
