She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
