I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I wear drunk well.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
