sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
