carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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