fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
