i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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