This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
