They should really pass out barf bags in church
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
