the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
