I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
wow bdsm is so cute
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
