just tell him i said nine months
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
