The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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