He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
