You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
