when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
