Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
