So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
