I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
