my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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