Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
