YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
