Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
