We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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