i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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