I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
no more duck duck goose at the bar
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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