She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
