it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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