I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am one with the molecules
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
