i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
