I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
