i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
