So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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