i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
