Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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