We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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