she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Two words: blizzard sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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