I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
