Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
