Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
