We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
