i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
