He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
