I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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