Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
