I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
