a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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