On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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