I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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