Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
