Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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