I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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