So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
