guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
